did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
