I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
