Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
