why do cheetos always look like penises
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
