AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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