...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
