so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
