I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
