This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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