He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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