hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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