My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
