I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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