Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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