It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
