hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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