Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
