last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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