I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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