Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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