If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
