and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
nutella sex= disaster
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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