i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
