you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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