dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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