Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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