What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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