i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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