i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My vagina is officially offended.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
