You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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