Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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