You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
