He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
