Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
