she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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