so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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