your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
