He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
