Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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