I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
