I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
