I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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