well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
