he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
