it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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