Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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