I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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