Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
