i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
