lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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