I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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