he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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